After days in the depths of digital hell, I’ve concluded that I must have evolved into a cyborg while I wasn’t paying attention. I have turned into a half-human, half-computer hybrid. When the computer died, I began to think what’s left is not my better half.

After my desktop’s motherboard tragically departed for that great blue screen in the sky, I spent my whole Monday trying to function with only the Homo sapiens side of my brain … frighteningly limited wattage without that glorious souped-up computer to boost it to full capacity. No number of alternate devices — laptop, smartphone, tablet — has been able to replace all the functions my beefy cyber sidekick whizzes through without a blip.

I really didn’t grasp how much of what’s “me” resides in that silicon-based almost-life-form. And then, when our WiFi went wonky at nearly the same moment, I began to hyperventilate. If that computer has been grafted into my brain, I now understand that WiFi is the oxygen that runs it.

Oh, Great Cyber Spirit, deliver me soon from this infernal digital blindness! They used to say that eyes were the window to a person’s soul. That’s out of date. For me, insight is Windows.