RON SCHALOW: Port Is A Liar And Gum Sticks To Your Hair

Rep. Ruth Buffalo doesn’t report to Rob Port.

“She refuses to speak on POVnow’s show, or at AM 1100, or with Rob Port because she said they’re not journalists seeking the truth, they’re personalities pushing agendas.” — C.S. Hagen, HPR

Unless he has a dog with no self-respect, nobody reports to Rob Port. I believe it’s because he’s a creep that doesn’t like women. That could be it. Dogs sense those things. It’s a superpower. But they also roll around on rotting fish by the lake. It’s a paradox.

Port spent years cyberstalking Sen. Heidi Heitkamp and also attacked other women of more accomplishment, intelligence and education than he. It’s not a high bar.

But he did work at Home of Economy in Minot, where Rob developed his love of swivel handle hand braided bullwhips. Oh, and he slept at a Motel 6 last night. It’s not Trump University, but it’s something.

His self-confidence is at Donald Trump levels, but his self-awareness is also in Trump territory. Zero. Two duds in torrid relationships with Sen. Kevin Cramer. It’s not an attractive thing to see.

Nevertheless, Robbie thinks he’s a journalist, but he’s not. Jack Zaleski explains:

“To Forum faux pundit Rob Port: A charitable fund to pay for counseling, therapy and possibly institutionalization so he can be cured of a PTSD-like affliction. His unique malady, however, is not Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It’s PTHD — Post-Traumatic Heidi Disorder, as in his odd obsession with Sen. Heidi Heitkamp, D-N.D. Indeed, everything “Heitkamp” brings on distressing symptoms. It’s sad. So sad that in Port’s loopy condition, he fancies himself a “colleague” of legitimate journalists. He is not. Therefore, I urge that we help him as best we can. I’ll step up with a donation of one wooden nickel, because it’s as worthless as his fatuous punditry.” — Jack Zaleski, former Fargo Forum editorial page editor, and current Forum columnist.

So Port writes a post about not getting a message returned. Someone didn’t return an email query from me once and I didn’t give it much thought. I think I went fishing.

So much material out there, but Rob can’t use it because it conflicts with his ideology or the interests of a man or industry he jawbones on behalf.

Here’s his headline. Not as pithy as War and Peace, but what editor would touch such a vapid topic?:

“Democratic State Lawmaker Not Responding to Requests for Information About Attendance at Star-Studded Political Gala in Tennessee”

First of all, the event was neither star-studded nor a gala, or as the Hemingway of south hill put it, “some sort of a gala.” I’ve never been to a gala that I know of, or know what one is, but if I had, it would have been of some sort.

Secondly, Rep. Buffalo was a speaker at what Represent.us termed a conference, named the “Unrig Summit.

What Port is doing is threatening Rep. Buffalo to contact him and answer his questions, even though he will smear her either way. Robbie is a hack’s hack to the bone.

The daft lad seems to think that Buffalo’s speech in Nashville, Tenn., has something to do with Measure 1. It doesn’t. The pro-ethics constitutional measure has already passed a public vote, but the Legislature still has to decide if it wants to enact what the citizens asked for, or a version watered down by Republicans. And then it will take another two years before it goes into effect.

But as we know, America is full, windmills cause cancer, and geese are just big ducks looking for trouble. So Rob goes wild with the lies, innuendo and blind speculation. It shows how far and low Ports brain bots will travel to pull a thread just to be an asshole.

Let’s dissect Port’s helium balloon blog post of word murder:

“It’s a curious thing to watch how the proponents of Measure 1 — the so called “ethics measure” which seems a lot more about restricting political speech — behave themselves.”

Is it? And what type of behavior are you referring to Mr. Port? Buying first-class seats? Or those three bank jobs just outside of Nashville and then just nonchalantly flying drunk back to North Dakota and resuming their lives, the perfect crime? Kicking a support animal at the Nashville mall? What your problem? Please tell us.

“These preening martinets rail against the influence of deep-pocketed interests in politics, and yet their measure campaign was bankrolled by Hollywood activists and far left groups like Represent.us which dropped nearly $150,000 on the campaign according to disclosures made with the Secretary of State’s office.”

“Preening martinets!” How dare you, sir, if that was meant to be derogatory. I think perhaps it was, although I’ve never used the phrase personally.

A fancy put-down, check. Activists from a particular town and no one gets why that’s bad anymore, check. Far left lie, check.

Represent.us is a nonprofit and this is what it does with its donated funds, you meathead wanker. And it involves liberals and conservatives.

Can you imagine Port, Minot’s Smokey the Bear preening in the sun?

Of course, the preeners Dina Butcher and Ellen Chaffee are the martinets who both could kick Port’s ass in a fair fight. Robbie sure has an ugly relationship with these women in his role of malleable mouthpiece for the North Dakota Petroleum Council and the Kochs.

Then, he makes it clear:

“And now Represent.us held some sort of a gala in Nashville where they gave the figureheads of the campaign — Dina Butcher and Ellen Chaffee — an award presented by actress Jennifer Lawrence.”

Port likes using words like figurehead and titular when talking about women who are more achieved than him in every way. It’s not a high bar.

“I think Butcher got more hugs than Jennifer Lawrence,” Chaffee said per reporter Barry Amundson. The Nashville event was also attended by celebrities like Ed Helms, Lawrence, and anti-gun activist Emma Gonzalez.”

She also told your pal, Bar this:

“Chaffee said the House bill has many provisions that are in direct conflict with the Constitution as the measure went into effect 60 days after voters approved it last November. It also doesn’t include the $500,000 that’s in the Senate bill and is needed to get the required state ethics commission on its feet, she said.”

That sure seemed to be the more political of the two statements.

What celebrities are like Ed Helms?

Emma Gonzalez is not an anti-gun activist. She’s a survivor of a school shooting. She’s a survivor of death threats. And she’s survived better a hatchetman then you, Port. Their platform is online, dude.

Emma also allowed me a hug, which I treasure.

“Buffalo, however, hasn’t responded to my request for information sent to her official legislative email account on Thursday. She also didn’t immediately respond to a phone call made to the cell phone number listed in her legislative biography as of this morning.”

Rep. Ruth Buffalo doesn’t report to Rob Port. Bye Rob.

“State Rep. Ruth Buffalo (D-Fargo) was also a “featured speaker” at the event, listed alongside Lawrence, Helms, etc.”

Atta boy.

“It’s unclear what Buffalo, who has been in office for mere months, spoke about.”

Well, she posted it on her Facebook page. You could have watched, iffin’ you couldn’t figure out the words. And she has more degrees than you have socks, you wanker.

And what the hell kind of political pundit are you anyway, Port? And political observer, you call yourself and you still don’t what Ruth Buffalo would have to talk about? I think your Google is gummed up. She’s testified in Congress, not that long ago, for chrissakes.

“Who paid for these folks to attend the event?”

Rep. Ruth Buffalo doesn’t report to Rob Port. And it seems that the other folks have spoken.

I’ll repeat. Unless he has a dog with no self-respect, nobody reports to Rob Port. I believe it’s because he’s a creep that doesn’t like women.

“I reached out to Chaffee for information. She was indignant at my request — “I’m mystified by your interest in this,” she told me via email — but admitted that both she and Butcher received free admission to the event. They paid for their own travel expenses, per Chaffee.”

Who wouldn’t be indigent if Rob Port was in the middle of a made-up scandal and he contacted you?

“Buffalo, however, hasn’t responded to my request for information sent to her official legislative email account on Thursday. She also didn’t immediately respond to a phone call made to the cell phone number listed in her legislative biography as of this morning.”

Rep. Ruth Buffalo doesn’t report to Rob Port, ever.

“She also didn’t immediately respond…?” She did not respond at all. This is problematic because the text of Measure 1 — the measure that was lobbied for by Butcher and Chaffee, and bankrolled by Represent.us which sponsored this event — along with companion legislation before the Legislature in Bismarck would seem make any remuneration for Buffalo’s speaking engagement illegal.”

So, press charges. Rep. Ruth Buffalo doesn’t report to Rob Port.

“Thanks to Measure 1, Article XIV Section 2 of the North Dakota Constitution now reads:”

The Constitution hadn’t changed yet you liar.

“What’s more, SB2148 (which is currently in conference committee and is supported by the Measure 1 campaign) defines a lobbyist this way:”

This is contrary to what he said in his previous sentence.

“The North Dakotans for Public Integrity is the organization which campaigned for Measure 1 and is currently advocating for the passage of SB2148 in Bismarck. They clearly are trying to influence legislation, and they’re bankrolled in part by Represent.us.”

He can’t help being stupid.

“Represent.us hosted Rep. Ruth Buffalo at their gala in Tennessee as a speaker, but Buffalo isn’t responding to inquiries as to reimbursement for travel expenses or payment for her speaking engagement.”

As explained earlier, you are not Rep Buffalo’s first, or ever contact.

“To be clear, I have absolutely no problem with Rep. Buffalo speaking at this gala. If she was reimbursed for travel expenses and/or compensated for the speech I think that’s all just fine. Our laws should require disclosure of such things, so the taxpayers are aware of them, but they should not this activity as Measure 1 and the implementing legislation favored by its proponents does.”

Why is Ruth Buffalo part of Port’s imaginary plan that involved her contacting Rob? We know you’re trolling for your new Heidi Heitkamp.

“Our laws should …” he says. Now he just started adding different dimensions of Port logic, two words that resist each other like magnets.

Represent.us has a big interest in changing North Dakota’s laws. It has invested a lot of money in the past election cycle to amend our state Constitution, after all. Yet they don’t seem to be living up to the spirit of the very laws they paid to help create.

You can say, “don’t seem,” or you can explain what you’re talking about, Mr. Port.