A weird child tells Piers Morgan the darndest things about his just-funny-to-him meeting with Prince Charles:

• “I think I was yeah, we had a great conversation and it was about you would call it climate change but yeah I think we had a very very good conversation.” — Donald J. Trump

We “all” call it climate change, Fonzie. Global warming is also correct.

Trump is insinuating, quite poorly, that the name for climate change is jimmied to conform to the imaginary facts made up by globalist nut cases and greedy scientists. What does he want to call it? Space tariff?

When Trump wanders into the virgin territory of unprofitable empathy, he is mystified. “I’ll tell you what moved me is his passion for future generations. He’s really not doing this for him. He’s doing this for future generations. And this is real. He believes that. He doesn’t have to worry about future generations in theory. Unless he is a very good person, who cares about people.”

Trump has never understood the good person angle. Maybe only foreigners care about people. Evidently, no has told the Don otherwise. He’s put kids in cages and isn’t moved. Thousands died in Puerto Rico, and paper-towel tossing Donnie feels that he is the aggrieved party even though his amateur bumbling left many citizens to die. 45 can’t even be shamed into caring about anything other than his reflection.

“He (Charles) believes that.” That, and a few other things, toots.

Why would a well-educated former military man, with speed dial access to the smartest people in the world, believe a scientific fact? I hear the Prince shows off by reading books.

Anyway, it was rude of the president to uncork his venal personality and point it directly at one of his gobsmacked hosts. Most of us are able to keep the remote handy to avoid his loud face. No such luck for the Prince of Wales, who was last seen walking behind some neurotic horses and yapping like a Corgi.

Trump is flummoxed by the Prince’s concern for the well-being of his and all else’s progeny who would be born into a carbon dioxide choked world short on clean things, like water and air. He’s said so.

When told a day will come when the national debt becomes untenable, he replied, “Yeah, but I won’t be here.”

This is a bad time to have a novelty act in the White House.

And if DT is ever on the run for some reason, he shouldn’t skulk around Wales perverting the course of justice, attempting to pervert, or even privately intending to do any perverting.

Also, no fabricating or disposing of evidence and don’t even think about intimidating or threatening a witness, juror, or judge. And no conspiring to pervert the course of justice. The Welsh won’t stand for it. They’ll probably call cementhead a wanker. Maybe a punter.

But Sens. Kevin Cramer, R-N.D., John Hoeven, R-N.D., and Rep. Kelly Armstrong, R-N.D., will stand up for the pervert. They are also in favor of the regressive approach of spurring on the climate crisis by rolling back environmental regulations as are most Republicans in North Dakota.

Cramer has a lifetime rating of 1 percent on the League of Conservation Voters environmental scorecard. To earn that number, Kevin would have to be actively pulling against us.

Hoeven got 8 percent. He must have saved a baby walleye or did something greenish. Kelly Armstrong is still a duckling. Actually, all three are ducklings following their drunken uncaring mother down a storm drain during one of the new megastorms.

Not every person or duck has an empathy gland. Sometimes, a being is born without all of the standard software. Sometimes the ability to consider the feelings of others can be learned. And not many sociopaths are criminals, but Suspect 1 is special.

Trump’s low IQ ability to empathize with humans is a bad attribute for president, since his job is to leave the country in a position to thrive past his term. Ignoring all of the damage and death that will be inflicted upon this country by the effects of climate change is exactly the opposite of the mission of a POTUS.

Ignoring all of the damage and death that will be inflicted upon this country by the effects of climate change is exactly the opposite of the mission of our representatives in D.C.

Ignoring all of the damage and death that will be inflicted upon this country by the effects of climate change is exactly the opposite of the mission of our representatives in Bismarck.

The founding fathers wrote a — flawed in many ways — plan for the country to carry on as a sovereign nation well past the reign of any “Great White Embarrassment.” They saw lunacy and cruelty coming and made some rules. Protect and defend, dude.

If Trump wants a global warming explanation, and he doesn’t, he can ask his own government, including the military and NASA. If he still has hard feelings about the deep state mission to thwart his genius, the paranoid stable doofus can get all of the information he needs from his new friends at Exxon. They can explain it well, since they helped invent it.

Because big oil has known the score since 1977 when their own research determined where the Earth would be in 2019.

• “In the first place, there is general scientific agreement that the most likely manner in which mankind is influencing the global climate is through carbon dioxide release from the burning of fossil fuels.” —  James Black, Exxon’s senior scientist to the oil firms management committee (July 1977)

Then, the misinformation campaigns started and the denial set in with the malleable. Many were paid to push the lies. You know who. Earthlings were cheated out of over 40 years that could have been used by smart people to figure out solutions to our current bind.

• “Being open to data, facts and science doesn’t make you a liberal. It makes you literate. Scientifically literate. It means you favor data, facts and evidence over conspiracy theories, manufactured misinformation and cherry-picked industry spins.” — Paul Douglas, Restless Skies