Disgruntled president to cut work hours and focus only on inanimate objects Donald Trump wrote early this morning on his Twitter account.

“I’ve had it with you #people. Except Patriots @RiotsDoneRight. Bitch bitch bitch. It’s is all I hear. And where’s your mask? I don’t need this. I’m very Disgruntled @ohsopreciousdelicatepeople Have seen the nasty remarks they put on my Twitter? The loony leftists …”

“… and their crude language and general dis-knowledgement. But that’s over now, Buster. I can do what I want. YNW? As you’ve noticed; I am evidently not under any contractual obligation to do things. I’m humorous. Stick that @KimmelWithaK The WUN thing that this Trump …”

“… will do is protect the beautiful horses covered in bird crap, but THAT’S IT!!! I might include tackling dummies if @NFLame doesn’t shape up and honor the flag with my face on it. #BetsyWho I had no idea we made that change, but I’m honored. And listen to this: I’m gonna hire …”

“… millions of Americans to make more statues of past enemies of the United States, and former allies. The English were part of our history, too. Most people don’t know that. The Confederates weren’t the only ones to lose a war against the United States. Where are the stone …”

“… tatues of English generals and kings in this country? And where are the monuments to some Germans, Japanese, North Koreans, North Vietnamese, Italians and many more losers. Someone mentioned Hessians? I might carve a Mussolini myself. Who looks stupid now? If you have …”

“… an unrelated nonstatue problem, take it up with your governor. Obviously, nobody can make me do ANYTHING but I CHOOSE to protect our treasured mementos unless it’s art. The hippies are riling up the blacks with fake footage of a routine (I’m told) arrest and they …”

“… are itching to demolish our history as written by my dear friends at the United Daughters of the Confederacy. All of the normal historians are wrong as USUAL. They tell me ‘Sir you have Churchill’s head.’ My keen eye assumed it to be W.C. Fields or Jimmy Cagney …”

“… but it’s a limey president. It’s a good start. Maybe it’s labeled on the bottom. The fix is already in anyway. The polls are rigged by the leftist mob. People with the sniffles are dying from the “virus” just to spite me. The Never Trumpers are taking pictures of their …”

“… kids behind any chain link fence. and sending the photos to the Honduran embassy just to embarrass me. Fake pictures amigo @HondoBoss13. But I will stay PRESIDENT until Sleepy Joe and his sad bag of “empathy” shows up next January and not Cheerlead like the country’s …”

“… greatest cheerleader. Like the people have the right to know about a teeny virus. Joe has velcro shoes. It doesn’t matter. There’s no winning with these evil people in the media. I’ve just learned that the democrats will be deploying an army of invisible @raccoons to steal …”

“… mail in ballots in broad daylight and deliver them to Crazy Nancy. @KevinCramer @LouieLouie It’s insane. You won’t have the naturally capable @realDonaldTrump to kick around anymore, but republican pansies can still stop by to kiss my butt in the late afternoon …”

“YOU CAN ALL GO STRAIGHT TO HECK.”