It’s been a tough week. It’s been hard to watch the dismantling of democracy, the corruption unfolding or being ignored as guardrails are dismantled and justice denied. The graft and lies, the rejection of science and endangerment of our health and the loss of national security as we alienate allies, side with bullies, advocate ethnic cleansing and confirm incompetence, ignoring our long-held values to be a shining city on the hill.

I think one of the hardest things for me is that I often feel so helpless. It’s like I’m watching a slow-moving train crash and I can’t do anything to stop it. The feeling of impotence leaves me feeling even more dejected. How can I change things?

I’ve decided one thing I can do is to take the approach Anne Lamott suggests when there is something overwhelming to do. When she was a child, her brother had to prepare a massive report on birds that he had three months to complete and it was due the next day. He was paralyzed and overwhelmed at the immensity of the task. His father sat next to him, put his arm around him and said, “Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.”

So I am going to take this bird by bird. For me, that means engaging in online conversation with individuals I see posting misinformation or inaccurate news and to do it in a way that promotes dialogue that is not insulting. I won’t change everyone, but hopefully by asking questions and trying to build relationships, I can break through for some people, bird by bird. And if others do that, perhaps we can effect a change in public opinion, which may be our only hope.

But it does require restraint. Take what I did this week for example. A Facebook friend posted one of the inaccurate or reductionist lists of the work USAID does to make it look extreme. Rather than addressing the entire list, I chose to address the part that said USAID spent $5.5 Million on LGBTQ activism in Uganda.

I wrote, “We are entitled to different opinions but need accurate information and much of this is wrong. For example, LGBTQ activism in Uganda. As you may know, I go to Uganda regularly, and I’ve worked extensively with USAID there. I don’t know what LGBTQ activism means, but I do know that it’s illegal to be gay in Uganda and that the government actively seeks to kill people who are gay. It is brutal and horrific. If USAID is doing anything with LGBTQ, it may be protecting them from persecution or working with AIDS prevention, which is also connected to the work that it does with the prevention of Ebola. This actually helps people in the United States because it keeps the disease from spreading wildly. If you are posting something like this, I would really appreciate having further information about what it means and exactly what it’s doing. This reductionist view of deeper work often misses the point and the depth of the work, the lifesaving work, USAID provides.”

My hope was to encourage deeper thinking and research, as opposed to the knee-jerk surface view that lacks nuance and is exactly what DOGE is doing. I wanted to respect my FB friend and encourage critical thinking and response by sharing my story.

However, one person, who actually was a former parishioner over 30 years ago but as I recall never actually attended church, so he may not remember me before he moved, responded by saying, “Paula V. Mehmel have you read the Bible?!?!”

Now admittedly, I was a bit confused as to that response, since my dialogue had nothing to do with faith. But rather than amp it up in a fight, I opted for this response.

“I’m confused about how this connects with what I wrote, which was a request for details, but yes, as a pastor for 35 years, I’d say I’m fairly familiar with the Bible. ‘Beloved, let us love one another for love is of God.’ Have a great day.”

Will it change the respondent? I doubt it. But I’m not going to demean myself or get into a theological argument that serves no purpose because I know what the Bible says about both judgment belonging to God and our need to love.

My hope is that it will help the original poster think and reflect before posting, or to dig deeper and not just accept anything you see online that promotes your opinion at face value. Am I going to change hearts and minds? Maybe. Maybe not.

But during a week where I felt overwhelmed and helpless, it allowed me to do what I can do …  bird by bird.